Orange
by wow in the now
Summary: Len has spent the last 7 years of his life with a crush on his classmate Rin. Having never been single at the same time, Len gets the opportunity to confess when Rin breaks up with her boyfriend of 8 months. But will it be the long awaited love story he's wanted, or will hard feelings cause trouble? Based off Orange. RxL
1. Chapter 1

Author's Note:

I'm not much of a writer, I prefer drawing lol. But I thought this song could make a great story.

* * *

Orange : Confessions

I've always liked her. As long as I've known her.

To tell everyone the truth, even when I was dating other girls I still had feelings for her. I would check out all her new pictures on social media the minute she posted. I'd ask mutual friends to invite her to parties I was going to. Every time I mentioned her in a group of people, I always made sure her name wasn't the first one I'd say, so no one got suspicious. Anytime she started talking to men, even if I was dating someone and had sworn my heart, I still despised them. It was almost funny how life kept us apart, it seemed like whenever she was single, I was seeing someone and vice versa.

It was only during a lull of both of our dating lives I confessed. I was 3 months out a month long relationship that I had ended. She had just broken up with her boyfriend of 8 months the day before. She was sitting in the classroom, long after her fellow students left and she'd finished cleaning the space. The sun was setting and turned the room a bright orange with crisp shadows. She looked beautiful in the back seat by the window, and if It was any other day I might've caught a photo of her.

When I opened the door, she only turned her head to look at me for a moment before resting her chin on her palm and staring at the sky again. I softly closed the door behind me, and no words were shared as I walked up to her desk and took a seat in front of her, turning the chair around so I was facing her with the desk as our table.

This wasn't uncommon, us chatting. We were friends, we hung out with each other in groups, sat together at lunch a handful of times. She's met my parents, I haven't met her family but I know all their names. We've even flirted a few times. Quick texts, a wink out the door, but the messages and conversations never went anywhere. We'd never been single at the same time.

I stared at her while she looked out the window, eyes half closed, staring at the sky looking for something. It was beyond me, like she was reading a book in a foreign language. What're you looking for Rin? What's up in the sky that's not here, right now?

I broke the silence, "You dyed your hair?"

A pause, "Yeah. I always do stupid things when I'm emotional. At least I didn't cut it all off." more than I expected her to say.

It's true, every time she has a traumatic breakup she does something crazy. I think it's so she can regain her sense of self. Back in middle school after her very first breakup, she stopped wearing black and started putting on makeup and wearing sweet pink pastels and yellows. At a birthday party a few weeks after, someone close to Rin told us she made the dramatic change because her ex always made fun of girls that did themselves up, and wore lip-gloss and rubbed their heels dry with bad shoes. they said she wanted to be everything he didn't like, but I think there's more to it than that.

"It looks nice! You're a great blonde, it's pretty much the same color as mine now!" I laughed, pulling at a lock of my own blonde hair. It was long for a boy, I always pulled it back in a ponytail.

she smiled, and turned towards me, "Yeah you're right, I never met someone with natural blonde hair as bright as yours,"

I nodded, pulling a few stray bangs behind my ear.

she turned away and gave me some sort of _look_ out of the corner of her eye. I raised my eyebrows at her, and she giggled before saying, "pale but warm like a peeled banana."

"What!?"

We laughed, pretty loudly, but she quickly caught herself having fun. The guilt of her breaking her now ex-boyfriend's heart overwhelmed her and she stopped abruptly, and stared down at the desk, gripping her book bag tightly like it was the only thing that was real.

I know this feeling so well, the emptiness. When you've used your relationship to escape reality, and then lost it. That feeling of doom, as all of reality comes back at once. You just have to keep getting up, combing your hair, eating your favorite cereals, missing turn in dates for your school work, and playing video games, every day. Pretending like these things weren't better with your partner around.

I've been on both sides of the question, and I know inside and out you can't just ask about someone's relationship and/or breakup, _especially_ right after it happened. it's their business. Even so, knowing that is the respectful thing to do, i can't keep my mind from wandering to all sorts of conclusions. Was it sudden? We're they cheering "I love you!"s 2 days ago and then she just dropped it all? Was there a slow build, and they knew it was coming? Did they fight and realize there we're things they did that the other just couldn't deal with?

The real question, that I already knew the answer too, is do I need to know?

"...Len?" she called my name, still staring down at her book bag. It took me out of my trance. She wasn't about to cry, but she was nowhere near standing up either.

"Rin." I answered, so softly.

"This sort of thing," a short pause, "It never gets easier, but..." tightening her fists, "I don't feel lonely."

I said nothing. That was more than enough of an explanation for me, and we both knew that. The orange was starting to fade to only the corner of the sky where the sun was. Leaving a peachy pink behind on the clouds, like cotton candy right off the spinner.

She started again, with something we'd only ever fleetingly and jokingly addressed, in the only way I never wanted to hear it.

"Len, I'm glad we never dated."

It stunned me, but I can't say I didn't expect it. Ending relationships makes you evaluate what you've lost and had all along. We've always had each other, the shoulder to cry on but never really needed. Even still, my intentions that day were to tell her about my romantic feelings towards her.

"... Is that _so_?" I chose my words carefully, knowing this would cause a reaction. She wanted me to say 'me too', but I wasn't about to let her slide a comment like that easy, and she knew it. She took a minute, carefully thinking of her words too.

Seeing her thinking made me love her even more. I want to pamper her with gifts and long talks about nothing. Run my hands through her new blonde hair, zip up the backs of her dresses, and kiss her neck from behind.

"Well," Looking at me as she spoke, "I've lost everyone I ever developed feelings for, the connection ends and nothing changes. I guess I just haven't had the chance to be with you, so in a way I can never lose you." , With this, you could say she confessed first, the everlasting feelings we may or may not have harbored for one another. I knew what I needed to tell her remind her.

"But aren't you so glad you get to love?" Is something I learned over my many years of love, false love, and friendships. They don't make sayings for no reason, and 'to have loved and lost is better than to have never loved at all' can be said many different ways.

"I thought so, but right now I'm not so sure." She looked out the window again, only for a second before gathering her things, and standing up on legs that are all her own, she doesn't belong to anyone. I had to confess, my forever feelings for this single person.

"Rin?"

"Yes Len? Stand up I'll walk you home, we can talk as we go." She said, holding her book bag and walking away from the desk. I grabbed her arm. she gasped and turned around quickly. as she turned I let my palm slide down her forearm to her own hand. it wasn't soft, it was firm. Callused fingertips spilled her secret hobby for guitar. though I already knew about it. Her nails weren't bitten, but always trimmed short and never colored, but today they were a pale pink, so subtle you'd almost never notice, must've gone hand in hand with the hair change.

"I've always had deep feelings for you, Rin." I said, with more confidence than I could ever had these years before, when I coached myself on confessing over and over, and never ever pulling through. Throwing my notes in the trash and erasing my texts before I sent them.

She paused (im not sure if it was out of shock or because she was thinking), then nodded, and turned her hand so she could grip tighter on my own. She looked me in the eyes, and it was almost like I was staring at my reflection. Our hair was the same length, our eyes the same blue.

She walked me home that evening, hand in hand. We talked briefly about the paths, and the same concrete we've been walking on for years, good days and bad days and it's still the same. When we reached my house, about 6 blocks from her place, we faced each other. She gave me a smile so happy you would never think about the pain behind it. Squeezed my hands, and told me to have a good night before letting go and heading on her own.

That night I set my bag on my desk and immediately started on my homework. I had to get my mind off of her. I couldn't worry about what wasn't mine. When it comes to dating, I've plucked so many beautiful flowers and let them wither till someone else cared more. But with Rin, she's no rose from a green house. She's the sunflower, the one sunflower in a whole field, that you take the photo of. She's fleeting, and a dreamer, and stands taller than the crowd. You wouldn't dare break her stalk because she isn't done blooming.

I ran my hands through my hair in frustration. What subject was I working on? I don't think I even knew at the time. Tears barely clung to my water line, I pulled out my ponytail and let my hair fall freely against my shoulders. I knew what those nods and gestures and sweet words meant. I knew she was struggling with a breakup. I knew I shouldn't have pulled on her heart strings so soon, but I knew, I just fucking _knew_ , there was no way I could've stopped myself.

Yet here I am, I've done what I've anticipated for years, but I'm alone in my bedroom, crying over her again. With only one thought on my mind.

She never answered me?


	2. Chapter 2

Author's Note:

I wanted to get some meat into this story pretty quickly. the first chapter doesn't give too much background but I squeezed a lot into this one. To my review from TrashCanSan (love the name) Thank you! I am trying my best to make it something worth reading and stay true to the song! I appreciate the review it warmed my heart.

Going off that, I love reviews! They make me want to write more! Thank you for reading.

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Chapter 2

The next day was a Saturday. There were no parties but Kaito, my high school best friend, and I had both been off work for the evening. He texted me first.

[2:43 PM]

 **Len! R U free today?**

My phone buzzed. I glanced through the convenience store making sure my manager was nowhere to be found before I quickly checked the message and typed up a half response.

[2:44 PM]

 **off 3**

[2:44 PM]

 **Cool! I'll pick you up at your house at 3:30**

I shoved my phone in my front pocket quickly when I heard the front door ding, announcing a customer entering the shop. I greeted them and tried to look busy wiping the counter I'd wiped 100 times by now. Getting this job was my dad's idea, but it wasn't one I hated. In fact, I hated asking my parent for anything. Money, clothes, etc. So I appreciated how I only had to rely on myself for money.

Only bringing a donut and 12oz coffee to the counter, the lady I greeted earlier flashed her ID for a pack of cigarettes. Luka Megurine. A name I'd heard a few times these past few years but never put a face too. Many stories of this random lady getting black out drunk underage at someone's house, spilling bong water on someone else's carpet, falling asleep literally in someone's fridge. Albeit, it was open while she was inside but all the food was room temperature when everyone woke up the next day.

I think she's calmed down these last few years. Somewhere along the line I learned she landed a 9-5 at a place with a fancy reputation, god knows how the animal squirreled into that. I wonder if she knows anything about me.

I handed her the cigarettes and she gave me her card. I almost wanted to strike up a conversation just to know if she's really the girl I'm thinking of. I handed her the receipt and bid her goodbye.

"thank you so much, ... um" she gestured to my nametag, and I moved my arm that was blocking her view, "thank you... Len? as in Len Kagamine?" Her eyes were wide, and she looked at me and smiled.

"aren't you Kaito's best friend?"

"...yeah?"

I didn't know if I should smile because she'd heard of me or start freaking out. She started asking me questions and we hit it off. Who I knew, how long I'd lived here. For the record I moved here when I was 10, and I was definitely the coolest kid in my class when I transferred in. Being from the city is such a big deal here.

"Aren't you dating Gumi? She's so funny! I met her once at a house party about a year and a half ago. She fell in their pool only an hour in and almost ended up in the emergency room, such a catch! She's like an exotic tiger, totally unpredictable." Luka was the kind of girl who talked with her hands, despite her alluring appearance and grace, she was definitely bubbly and had the aura of party retiree wafting around her.

"haha I love Gumi! We've long since split but we _were_ dating back then I remember her telling me about you, and from what I heard you're pretty unpredictable yourself." Talking to Luka had been like seeing an old friend, it was amazing even though we never knew eachother.

"This is just so crazy! I can't believe we've never met we know the same people! I feel like I've known you forever!"

"I know what the heck! What're you doing we should get together sometime?" I pulled out a piece of paper to write my number down.

"Oh I'm working the worst job! I picked up smoking just because my boss lets us go outside for an extended break. It's terrible but I can't seem to get over it now, I've been trying to only smoke when I'm stressed but I'm still at a pack a day. It's benefits are great though, full coverage insurance with dental. It's the dream. " she started laughing, "Well look at me! I used to spend every day of my life stoned out of my wits but here I am, worried about fucking insurance."

I couldn't help but laugh. She is just so much older than me it's amazing how similar we are even at different phases of our lives.

* * *

My alarm beeped on my watch, signaling the end of my shift. Luka offered me a ride home but I turned her down. We hugged it out and exchanged numbers before splitting and heading our different ways.

"...So, you won't ever guess who I met today." I said to Kaito, crossing my arms and sticking my feet up on the dash as he drove.

"Hey! Get your feet down from there!" Kaito reached over and slapped my calf. I laughed but didn't budge. After all the times we hot boxed this spiting old hunk of metal, he still gets antsy about dirt, such a self contradiction.

"yeah yeah anyway, guess who I met for real." I pressed on again.

" The Prime Minister?"  
"nooo..."  
"Was I close?"  
"not a hair."  
"damn it."  
"Nope! Get this, and you may not know this, but today I met Luka goddamn Megurine."  
"Whhaaatt? You don't know her? Really?"  
"Nope! Never even saw a picture. Had to ID her for a pack of cigs at the shop. Isn't that crazy? We're gonna hang out sometime she gave me her number." Kaito laughed nervously at this, and stared out the windshield.

"woooah brother haha, if you think you're going to steer the train down that track I've got some important news to share with you ohhhh boy."  
" What do you mean 'steer the train' I'm not interested in her?"  
"Listen buddy," He started, I put my feet down and sat up straight, "I know you're into all types but you can't deny Luka is easy on the eyes. As someone who HAS steered the train on those rails I'll tell you right now th-"  
"Hold up? You and Luka we're a thing?" This explains why Luka recognized him as 'Kaito's best friend', surely he must've mentioned him.  
"What am I supposed to tell you everything? Anyway, to answer you, Yes. Maybe. Kind of. It's not important but I'll tell you right here that's a dead end road and it's fucking hard to put a train in reverse when your copilot keeps hopping back on and shifting gears even after you push them off countless times and-"

I laughed, interrupting him.

"What!?"

"You can calm down on the metaphor there Kaito, I get it. I've got my eyes on someone else already." I waved my hand, brushing off the idea of me and Luka like it was dust on my shoulder. No way.

"It better not be Rin. I swear every time she goes through a breakup within minutes you have her in your sights. It's kind of sick sometimes dude. Can it be Miku or some other cute petit lassy?"

"How did you know it was Rin?" I stared at him, kind of offended he figured me out so quickly.

"Oh is it supposed to NOT be Rin this time? You've been pinning after that chick literally probably longer than we've been friends. You used to have me revise your 'confession' speeches in 9th grade English. By my calculations she's broken up with her boyfriend about what? 3 days ago?"

I sat silent for a minute, I couldn't believe how well this guy knows me, it's kind of freaky.

"Well, it's been 2 days now since the breakup," I started, Kaito snorted in response "BUT, yesterday I confessed."

I felt myself quickly launch forward, luckily my seatbelt locked and held me down. The squeal of breaks and a loud "WHAT THE FUCK?" from Kaito we're the only things I could hear.

"What the hell dude!? Did you just break in the middle of the road?" I threw my arms in the air.

"No I pulled over you bitch, what did I just hear come out of that mouth?!" He threw his in the air. I must've been so stuck in my head I didn't notice we were indeed pulled over.

"Well! I just confessed to Rin yesterday, after class!"

He shook his head and put the car back in drive, and we soon set back on course to the local park. Silence held long in the car, I couldn't speak I was so embarrassed he'd made such a big deal of it. Usually when I talk about my love life Kaito doesn't even look up from what he's doing. I'm almost flattered he knows how important this is to me. But still, it was so silent I almost thought he was mad at me.

I guess he has a point though. I never gave up on the idea of me and Rin despite the years.

He spoke first, "What did she say?"

"She well, didn't say anything." I shrugged, trying my best to conceal my own disappointment at her response.

"What? What the fuck did you do? Right after she just broke up with someone? Can you imagine how confused she is now?" He yelled.

"She wasn't mad! We walked home together and she smiled at me and it was really a nice moment. The sun was setting, it was really romantic." I closed my eyes, trying to make it real again.

"Still though dude I'm just freaking out you actually confessed? What the fuck is the world doing? That was a constant in my life, you we're always into Rin and never made a move it was just how life was? Is there going to be a tornado next what the hell?"

"My love life isn't a natural disaster... "

* * *

"So that's really it? She smiled then left? You haven't talked since?" Kaito asked, lighting up the pipe once again, trying to hit all of nothing.

"That's it,"  
"Have you texted her yet?"  
"Nope, haven't thought to. I'll see her on Monday."  
"Oh no dude you have to text her. I know ladies and you do too." He coughed, setting the lighter down. "She's probably crying alone in bed over that guy, be her escape." He tried to pass me the pipe, but I waved it off. I'm not cheap I won't hit that dirt to get fake high. He shrugged and set it in the grass, laying back. I mimicked him.

I pulled out my phone, "Well what should I text? 'How's it going?'. Should I add Rin at the end? or maybe a pet name like bunny?"

"Oh dude you're so fucked for chicks. You can't send pet names when she's emotional? You barely confessed, you got to be smooth and creamy. Like rich cheese cake. "  
"What does that even mean?"  
"Um.. Just send something like 'What're you up too?'"  
"No way that's too bland!" I tossed my phone a few feet away in frustration. I cupped my face in my hands to try and relieve some of this stress. I figured we'd just see each other on Monday and work from there? I don't know why I have to text her now?

"Well you gotta send something so she knows you're on her mind." Kaito said, also frustrated. He has a point I guess, wouldn't want her worried I just forgot about the whole thing. Plus she's probably having a bad time and I could be the shoulder she'll cry on if we get talking so this could be a plus plus.

"Okay I'm in you just got to help me, I'm clueless."

"Okay well, what do you want the text to convey? I need some material here to work with."  
"I want her to know I'm thinking about her and that I'm here and I don't know! You're better at this than me you know that!"  
"Well you got me. Alright, hand me that cellular"

I got up and grabbed my phone, lightly tossing it on his chest. He picked it up and mulled over his word choice for a few minutes before showing me something he deemed good enough to set my love life up forever.

[New Text Message]

 **Hey Rin, what're you up too?**

[SEND?]

"Kaito this is EXACTLY what I told you I didn't like! It's so bland it barely has any emotion!"

"Well too late I already sent it."  
"No you didn-"

Before I could finish my sentence he snatched my phone from me and _**sent**_ the horrible, tasteless message to this girl I've quite possibly been crushing on for 7 years. Shocked. stunned. and betrayed I took the phone back from that terrible man and sure enough there it was, sent and delivered and even read. Now she was typing back but she kept erasing and restarting and I know this probably just confused her! She'll hate me, and think I'm just pinning to get in her pants because I know she's available.

I didn't even have the chance to spit at Kaito when she responded, him looming over my shoulder at the ding.

[5:06 PM]

 **Not much really, it's a slow Saturday at my house. It was beautiful out earlier and I stopped by your house to see if you were there but your sister told me you were at work.**

I could scream. A conversation. This sparked a conversation, and such a long text? that's a pure sign of interest right there! Plus she tried to visit me at my house? Could there be any more green flags? This was the best news I'd heard in years.

[5:10 PM]

 **Sorry I wasn't there! You can stop by again! I'll be home soon I'm just hanging out with Kaito.**

Was the text I sent. It sucked. I shouldn't have texted while high. I don't even know why I mentioned Kaito there is NO WAY she wanted to hear about boys and people hanging out at such a dark time in her life? She probably feels so lonely, like I ditched her for my friend. There is no way I can recover from this my heart is broken, so is hers, we have no chance.

[5:11 PM]

 **That's fine! I'll come join you guys if you want, I could use some time out of the house.**

I jumped, shoving the phone in Kaito's face. He read it and pushed it away.

"Yeah yeah Len I get it, she likes you, yes she can come, tell her we're gonna go to the other spot ok?"he sighed, throwing his pipe and lighter in the pocket of his fleece jacket.

Giddy with excitement, fireworks in my heart, I clutched my phone to my chest as if I was 14 again, and followed Kaito back to the car.

We made haste to the local lake on the outskirts of town. Many a night were we sitting in the back of Gumi's brothers truck, drinking and warming up by the bonfire, staring at the lake. We called it Gumi's lake, since she was the one who showed it to us. the side we stay on it in bounds of Gumi's grandfathers property. Her family always loved me.

We dated for over a year, and I'd be lying if I said that I wasn't in love through the whole duration of it. It was like some sort of book, loving her. Late nights working on math in the 24hr bakery, holding hands, pretending she wasn't the only thing on my mind.

It really sucks that I was the one that introduced her to drinking, I still feel guilty. Don't get me wrong! She isn't some crazy drunk, but she lied to her parents when they found the booze stashed in her room. Said they were from some sketchy kid at school, even though I brought them for her. She never wanted anyone to get the wrong idea about me.

We ended it mutually, though I'm pretty sure we were both still in love when it happened. Sitting in school, the first day back from summer break. Class ended, we were sitting in desks side by side. She was just sniffling, occasionally wiping her tears with her sleeve. I was right next to her, sobbing. Literally sobbing into my desk. She'd never judge me for crying, so loudly, in public. Yet neither of us comforted the other, no warm hands on each other's backs.

"God," she pressed her palms to her face, letting out a hiccup "Loving you was no mistake Len, I really really had a lot of fun." to this, I only cried harder.

I don't regret it, anything I did with her. Losing my virginity in that same brothers truck, sneaking out and then into her room at 2 in the morning. It all felt right with her.

"Yeah, but this has to end." I choked out, lifting my tear covered face, looking at her with red rimmed eyes. She nodded, and god we cried.

We broke up because she she'd been seeing a mutual friend, Gakupo, behind my back. I mean not like I wasn't flirting with other girls myself. We were almost broken up with before any of it, we both just held onto the shell of our relationship. Not wanting to let go of our year together. We both learned we didn't have to hold onto something to keep our memories. Now we're great friends, we still text each other once in a while, and hang out with friends since we know the same people.

* * *

Kaito and I pulled up to the parking before the lake. Since we couldn't drive down through Gumi's grandpa's driveway anymore, we did have to do a short walk on the edge of the lake. He always gave us a welcome to hang out there. Said he'd rather give us a place to hang out then have us run to some crazy part of town no one knows.

"Is that Rin's car?" He said, pointing to a small white car parked a few spaces away from us. Surely it was, since as soon as he said that the door opened and out stepped the woman of the hour. Her short blonde hair blowing lightly. She pulled off her sunglasses, and held her hand above her eyes to block the sun and try to see us better. We stepped out of Kaito's car just as she reached us.

"Rin!" I said, smiling my best cheekiest smile. As soon as she smiled back I felt bricks fall in the pit of my chest. I'd almost forgot I confessed everything I felt to this girl yesterday. I felt myself blush but I shook off my nervousness. I've dated too many girls to let THIS feeling of all feelings hold me back. I was an open book to her now anyway.

"Len, Kaito, what've you guys been up to?" She asked in her gentle voice. You could tell she was upset. She usually was more jumpy (...alive?) around us. I don't know how to describe it.

"We were just hanging out the park. Rarely get the afternoon together." Kaito said, yawning, He pulled out his dime bag from his jacket pocket "Wanna finish the rest of this with us?"

"I'd be honored" She bowed, smiling. We laughed. It was a good feeling, being around her. Not even just because I've always been attracted to her, but she was really, genuinely funny. Even if I never got to call her mine, I felt like we always had a connection

The night went on just the same as any other summer night, we smoked and drank and sat by the fire. It was good to see her nerves calming, the stress of her breakup melting off her like butter as she twirled around the fire, singing and holding a blanket around herself to keep warm.

"Oh Rinny!" Kaito said, holding a beer and draping his arms over her shoulders. She turned to him and smiled, wrapping half of the blanket around him as they talked.

"Kaito yes?"

"You seem better." he gestured towards her with his beer, for no reason. She laughed.

"Oh god, I'm just terrible. I can't stop crying, you know how it goes?" She wasn't biting back tears as she confessed, nope she was swaying side to side with Kaito at her hip. I watched from beside the lake, dipping my feet in.

"You know what Rinny? I don't know! I've never dated someone for that long. You didn't know that did ya?" He mumbled on, clearly more drunk than the rest of us.

"Really?" She pressed her hands to her cheeks at this, mouth open in surprise, accidentally losing the blanket wrapped around the both of them. Never mind, they were both pretty gone.

Kaito nodded quickly, smiling and taking another drink from his beer. Rin's surprised look soon faded as she forgot the conversation ever happened, bouncing down to sit beside me. She was more careful not to touch me, wrap her arm around me. I turned to her and smiled as a greeting.

"Soo... Lem- ack!" she facepalmed, "Len! I meant Len I swear!". I laughed. That was a nickname that stuck a few year back between us, she called me Lemon, and I called her Bunny. What? I was trying to get her to like me? Despite what Kaito says I swear girls like cute pet names. Plus the ribbon on her head she always wore kind of looked like bunny ears?

"Yes Bunny?" I winked at her. She raised her eyebrows and grinned. I guess I was probably a little gone too.

"Did you know." She burped, and laughed.

"did I know what?" I laughed with her.

"Oh sorry! I forgot what I was saying hmm..." She pressed her hand to her chin in thought. "Ah! I remember!" she pointed at me, "Did you know the first time I smoked was with you?" She asked.

I do remember that day, really well. It was one of the few times we were alone. It was in her old car, I needed a ride home. We'd been talking about smoking together for a few weeks or days? I can't remember. Regardless I pulled out my pipe on the drive, and suggested we pull off somewhere. She agreed, and on her first hit she held back a cough. I was suspicious it was her first time but why would she lie to me? She smoothly took every puff after that. The drive home was a little scary I thought at the time. It's incredible she drove like that her first time smoking, looking back.

"I have to admit, Rin, at the time it did cross my mind. But you put up a good act!" I said to her, bending down to rub my feet in the water. I wasn't looking at her, but she was laughing.

"Hahah! Oh my gosh!" she burped again, covering her mouth with her hand, "I was trying sooo hard to impress you!" She laughed, letting out a hiccup. Did she really just say that? Is this her response to what I said yesterday?

"What? Rinny that's not true!" Kaito said, stumbling over to us. I guess he'd been listening? I forgot all about him.

"Yes it is! I swear! I swear it!" She said, her voice raising with every sentence. She actually looked irritated at him for not believing her.

"I don't believe you!" Kaito teased, pouring some of his beer on the ground to make some sort of point.

"What?" Rin stood up, and stumbled a bit, "how could you of all people possibl-" She burped again. Wide eyes opened and she covered her mouth and turned back towards the lake, emptying her stomach.

"Oh god!" I said, remembering my feet were not inches from where she was belching, I quickly pulled them out of the water, getting dirt all over them as I walked over to her. The drunk hitting me as I grabbed onto her shoulders, losing my balance and pushing both of us into the puke-y lake.

I swam back up as she did and we both took in air for a few minutes, and processed what had happened. I could feel the cold water slightly sobering us up, but not enough to stop me from doing something stupid.

I reached over and brushed the soaked hair from her face. The lake had wiped off any remnants from her throw up from her face, and made her hair cling to her cheeks. I tucked the hairs behind her ear, and looked her straight in the eyes. They were wide, and I could tell she was thinking the same thing I was. I didn't let my hand leave her face, as I pulled her just a little closer to me.

"ah Lemon!" She pushed me away.

"Rin?" I said, feeling my heart break at the rejection.

"I never told you my answer yesterday, I'm sorry." She said, getting out of the lake and drying off her clothes.

I'd forgot, I don't know her true feelings. God what a dumb shit I am for confessing to her just a day after her breakup? She's grieving, I'm so dumb! Now best I'll be is a rebound!

"Len..." She must've took my silence as some sort of answer because she continued, "You mean a lot to me... and I admit at some point of my life I had felt the same." The ping in my heart, the single burst of love. That sentence was more than just words, it was raw emotion.

"Rin..." I didn't know what to say.

"Len, I'm sorry. Not now, just... Let me..." She clenched her fists. I saw Kaito out of the corner of my eyes, staring at us like it was some sort of movie scene.

"Len, if I'm going to kiss you..." She breathed, deeply, in and then out, "I know I should be sober when I say this, but If we ever... if there ever is a we... I never..I just.." Tears filled up her eyes, "You know I've always seen you different... god so much more special than my other boyfriends. You always wiggle your way into my heart. When I saw you alone in the music room writing love songs years ago I knew I was in for a long haul."

I found myself crying, but she couldn't see. They were falling into the lake I was still floating in.

"You... are the one I cry about most of the time." She confessed pointlessly. I felt myself nod. It was the same for me.

"Just, Len. Please. Not now. I don't want you to be after _him_. You know I just..." She looked at me in the eyes, "I've imagined us dating in so many ways, through so many times. I really just need you to..."

I held my breath, I think she held hers too.

"Len, I don't know. I don't know how I feel." She cried. She sobbed and fell to her knees. Kaito ran over to her and held her shoulders, supporting her.

I floated in this lake. I couldn't move.


End file.
